Recently I accomplished something I thought was impossible for me so I’m going to go on for a little while about how darn proud I am of myself! I went 24 days without having a sip of any kind of pop! Now keep in mind, I used to drink coke or gingerale 3-6 times a day before! Gross, right? I don’t know where I found the strength to say no dozens of times each day for almost a month. Especially when I would stand in front of a bottomless and FREE pop machine every day. I did have some Coke the other day though and although I’m a little sad about ruining my perfect streak, I still feel INVINCIBLE! I never thought I’d say no to Coke. Sure, I’ve cut down before but never went two days without it. After those 24 days I feel like I can do anything I set my mind to. The old me would have thought that drinking that bottle of Coke the other day was disastrous but now I know that it’s okay to let myself have a treat now and then. If I’ve given it up before, I can do it again. I don’t feel like a slave to myself anymore. The only thing I am apprehensive about is that I could easily get into that zone where I keep telling myself, “oh yeah you can stop any time you want, another drink won’t hurt you.” So I’m hoping that, yes, I CAN stop any time I want to. And if I can do it with Coke, I can do it with my second biggest addiction, chocolate. And then I can do it with McDonald’s. And everything else that’s harming me. I sometimes feel like an alcoholic when I think of how much I love Coke. I am under a certain high after drinking it. It is my go-to form of celebrating. I hide bottles of it from my family. I hoard it. It has power over me. And now I feel like I’ve been clean for almost a month. I feel sober. I used to get chest and stomach pains every few days before and I noticed it ALL went away this last month. I’ve been trying to pay really close attention to my body and any changes it goes through and it’s been really helpful because I can now pinpoint how each thing I eat affects my body. And Coke really messes me up.
Lately I’ve been feeling so trapped every time I eat fast food junk. It happens out of habit now that I go through a drive-thru after work and grab fries or a burger. But from the first bite, I’m wishing I had celery in my hand or an apple. It’s weird to crave fruits and veggies; it’s the polar opposite of who I’ve been most of my life. It’s something to get used to but it’s a good change. My body is telling me what I need very clearly, I just have to listen.
motimuslim 