Losing Perspective, Gaining Weight

Grrrrrr. I’ve let myself gain weight once again! Curses! I cut down on work hours and let myself eat everything in my house and my friends’ houses during my free time. So basically I’m in the same boat as last year. But I’m glad to say it doesn’t seem as disastrous as it used to. I feel a certain strength in me nowadays. That, my friends, is what I’m guessing is called confidence? I wouldn’t know for sure, it’s such a foreign concept to me =\ Whatever it is, it has a (hopefully permanent) place in my head; it sits in a comfy little green chair in the corner of my brain telling me that I can do this. “This” being anything. I don’t think in absolutes now. It’s not the end of the world when things go wrong, whether it’s weight stuff or work stuff or family stuff or stuff like my car stopping in the middle of the road during rush hour traffic (which actually happens way too often to me). I let myself get depressed easily. If something’s not perfect, it doesn’t seem worth doing. But I’m trying to change that now. I was thinking about my blog for the past few days and I realized how SAD it is! It’s so negative and depressing and serious! That makes me a bit disappointed in myself because I started this blog as a fun way to let out the struggles of being overweight and dealing with people’s (and definitely my own) prejudices. Moti Muslim has got to be a safe haven for me because if I don’t let myself talk about my craziness, I’m likely to pop like a Pillsbury crescent can. I’m fine with talking about the wacky stuff going on but I don’t have to be so darn serious! And I can laugh at my own jokes here because in real life, not only do people frown at me for finding myself hilarious, they frown at me for finding myself hilarious when I (apparently) didn’t say anything remotely funny. Whatever, I think poop jokes are hilarious. Anyway, I would like to keep this place light and positive and the same goes for my life iA! Goodbye for now! It’s 4:30 in the morning and I have to bake lots of cupcakes, most of which I will probably eat myself. I can only hope I still fit into my tights this weekend; even the stretchiest material has a limit!