Things I don’t have time for anymore: false foods and false friends. Both can be highly damaging to my health so if changes need to be made to my body, the same goes for my heart.
As I grow older, my circle of friends downsizes and I’ve been told that’s how it goes for most people. I used to feel bad until I did a mental before and after picture of my life and saw that I made the right choices. Not because these old friends were bad people or anything but because they didn’t fit into what I became. I tried to picture what it would be like to have those people beside me in my current trials and fortunes and it boggles my mind how easily they were not missed. I know, I know, I sound like a horrible person! Still, hear me out. The same people I thought I couldn’t imagine my life without are now better off wherever they are. We would both rather not have the other around in our lives. We outgrew each other. And whether the relationship ended peacefully or with conflict, it happened just the way it was meant to be. Even though I fought the ending of many friendships, both sides were so much better off. This opened up room for new opportunities, experiences, and relationships. I truly believe people are put into our lives for a reason and a season.
I can’t say with 100% certainty that I don’t miss certain people at times but I’m okay with leaving our history where it is. Sometimes a friendship is more effort than we can afford. Some are easier than others and I find those are the ones that last. The easygoing ones, the ones with the most acceptance. There is a certain connection there that can last through time. But the hard ones, though beautiful and rewarding, are perhaps on a time-limit and one day they expire without you expecting it.
When I started realizing that I would have to give up certain foods (or cut down on them significantly) because they are bad for me, I saw that it was the same with certain people in my life. Just as it became more of an effort to keep eating bad, it became harder to maintain some relationships. Both were not worth the effort because in the end, my body paid dearly for a few good moments. Sadly, the consequences of each outweigh the benefits. If I leave a delicious meal feeling sick, it’s not worth it. If I leave the company of a person feeling ticked, it’s not worth it. I am trying to be a better person and thus I have to make an effort to surround myself with that which will make me better, whether it’s the company I keep or the food that I eat.
Friends and food should heal; they should bring joy, not misery. They are both part of a support system that helps you function. If your food and your friends are not building you up, it’s time for a change. It is also important to remember that these things reflect the effort you put in too; it’s not one-sided. If we make the effort to eat well, we will be rewarded with health. If we make the effort to be kind and honest to others, and listen deeply, and help them, we will hopefully get the same treatment. It is when these things are not reciprocated that I usually wonder whether a relationship is good for me. Life is too short for false foods or false friends. I’m cutting the dead weight (literally!) as much as I can this year.
May Allah forgive me for any arrogance or unkindness that unintentionally slips into my heart.
motimuslim 